Wicked Commentary

Where I Have Been?

I received many emails from readers about “where am I” or “hope you are OK”.

I sure appreciated people checking up on me.

To the question where have I been:

I’ve worked my butt off  doing all kinds of chores I did not want to do.  It took me a month before I could even walk into Ron’s room which actually was not possible with all the boxes of junk he kept in that room.  Ron was a pack rat.  He never wanted me in that room to clean either.  I had no idea where to start especially since I couldn’t even move in it.  Taking much flexibility I started to go through box by box, throwing much of it out as he kept so much “JUNK”. 

It took me 5 months to clean out and clean up that room since Ron never even wanted me to clean the windows in his room.  The two windows still had the stickers on them from the time they had been put in. It took me a whole day on a ladder to clean those 2 windows believe it not. That included the blinds too.

Next I hit the shed where he dumped most of his stuff.  Another awful job. Mice and birds demolished things in each box and some of the boxes were rotten.  I finally, after a long time, got all that cleaned up. Oh, yeah, when I started on that I couldn’t walk around in the shed either.

All of that added to everything else I had to take care of since Ron died.  Too many to even mention.

Ron, in deep thought for those of you who never saw him

Ron, in deep thought for those of you who never saw him

At the time this picture was taken, the cancer we never knew about was already invading his entire body.  He was in pain constantly but he thought it was only back pain.  Ron did not look like this when he arrived here. He was vibrant, strong, did not look his age.  This picture is one of a much diminished man. He was so thin I could see the outline of his whole spine.

How am I doing:

I feel sad looking at this picture of Ron and could not bring myself to look at it until now.  I miss having his companionship and “waiting on me”.  LOL! He spoiled me to death.

I am mentally doing OK except for all the anxiety of the problems I keep having, but I just ask God for help and He usually comes through.  I have to admit to sometimes falling down not remembering He is with me.  I guess that is human nature. I hope.

It is a hard life for me but not the first time.  So I am used to getting along by myself and doing fixes myself sometimes figuring them out by myself or finding information.  That used to be Ron’s job, fixing things.  I still haven’t caught that damn mouse however. It continues to elude all my traps.  And shame on Zima for not getting it.

This thing has been my biggest PIA:

The Jeep/Tank/Gas Hog

The Jeep/Tank/Gas Hog

Lately I drive it for a couple of weeks, then it goes back to the mechanic for this repair, that repair.  It’s a black hole where I just love to throw money down and go broke.  (sarc)

You would not believe how many people come up to me in a parking lot or even at stop signs wanting to buy this thing.  Amazing!  Well they couldn’t pay me enough to make up for all the repair money I’ve put into the damn thing.  I’m sure I’d take a big loss.  Of course I’ve never asked any of these people what their offer would be.  They tell me they just love that old jeep. LOL!

I just had the fuel pump, among other things, replaced so maybe it won’t use so much gas.  I need someone like Bob Roller for that opinion and I am most likely wrong.

Besides this jeep, my teeth started to give me tons of problems and tons of big dental bills.  Not to mention the dry socket I got after having to have two teeth removed.  If you never had dry socket, believe me it is unrelenting agonizing pain. 

So between the jeep and my teeth I am constantly broke.  Oh, well, what else can I do with all my money?  (sarc)  The two of these PIAs keep me broke.  And don’t believe people when they say poor is better than rich.  LOL!

But I do have many riches that are priceless like the friendships I have and the people who help me out in all kinds of ways, mentally and physically.  I have my two grand children who love me to death and even write emails to me now.  I live on a beautiful farm in a beautiful rural area with plenty of quiet, except for Merlin who barks every time he hears something outside because he is so protective of me.  Right now there is plenty of noise on the farm due to rotating, plowing, spreading manure and all the other things that go on at a farm but to me they are nice noises, earthy noises back to a time that does not exist in so many places any more.  And the cows love Merlin. They never fail to crowd at the fence when they are right behind the house to see him. It’s so funny and Merlin licks on them. Hilarious.

Merlin and horse shots 009I caught Merlin off guard with this picture.  He seems to hate it when I get the camera out to take pics of him. So the look on his face is such surprise. He usually gets the time to turn his back on me.  He’s like the Amish who don’t allow pics of themselves.  But he is my constant, loving, companion. He actually hugs me by putting his face up against mine and holding it there. He gives me plenty of doggie kisses and protects me.  He never lets me out of sight always watching over me.  He has all kinds of expressions for a German shepherd.  When he looks at me with his adoring eyes lookI melt and spoil him even worse than you can imagine. I couldn’t have a better dog.

In one of my future articles I will tell you about how I’ve changed the senior center being a trouble maker.  That is a funny I’ll tell you all about later.

God bless you all!

And Susie you are a great friend gal. I wanted to make sure I didn’t leave you out this time although I didn’t mention any names this time. 

 

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Comments on: "Where I Have Been?" (37)

  1. Merlin is God’s Canine Angel, and one of many. We, you and I, Pepper, have been blessed beyond measure with out Canine (and Feline~!) Angels. Beyond that, in that regard, words flat out up and quit, and in-depth emotion only can express what we know.

    How well I can identify with Ron. And I say this, with nothing but the deepest love and respect for him,,, but he reminds me of a “Craggy old Mountain Man”, standing tall and undefeated. I wish I’d had the honor to meet and to know him.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Grouchy

      So good to see you again my friend. Yes we sure have been blessed with our pets. I can’t imagine a life without one really. They give so much and we give so little except I treat Merlin like a human spoiling him but he deserves it in my eyes.

      That’s funny about Ron, Grouchy, because that is exactly what he was. He grew up in the mountains of Colorado and even as a little kid he skipped school and went into the mountains by himself. He had all the skills to survive almost anything alone. He was an expert shot, tomahawk thrower, knife thrower, and knew all kinds of things about surviving off the grid. So you were exactly right and it’s a compliment to Ron actually. And before he got so sick he did stand tall and undefeated. That picture is so sad from the man he was.

      At age 70 he just picked up a bag of 50lb dog food and threw it over his shoulder. The young man who waited on us stopped, stared with his mouth hanging open. Ron could fool ya with the amount of strength he had at his age.

      Like

  2. Poppyseed said:

    Hey I’m not upset in the least Oh by the way Smoke hates having his picture taken as well.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Poppyseed, I wanted to make up for not mentioning you in that one article. It was an oversight but still I know how you felt.

      LOL! So you’ve got an animal who doesn’t like the camera either eh? What is it with them? If I don’t catch Merlin off guard he turns his back on me every doggone time.

      Like

      • Poppyseed said:

        LOL Smoke growls at the camera and then he hides I also have to seek up on him or video tape him.

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        • peppermintfarm said:

          Poppyseed,

          Now that is hilarious that Smoke growls at the camera. I wonder if they would attack the camera and stomp on it. LMAO!

          Like

  3. Gar Swaffar said:

    It’s good to see you’re ‘back in the saddle’ it ain’t easy, but it is part of the human condition.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Hi Gar,

      Thanks. And yeah, it’s all part of life. Nobody ever promised a rose garden. Life is a struggle and if a person realizes that it’s much easier to roll with the punches.

      Like

  4. Jodie.V's.Pearls said:

    So glad to read your update. My thoughts and prayers are with you,my Sister in Patriotism! Much love & hugs! Have a happy Independence Day!! oxoxo

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Hi Jodie,

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked my update. Thanks for the prayers and your thoughts. And you too are a great patriot. I send my love and hugs to you too and also for a great Independence Day. I wish all Americans felt this way, but they don’t. What a shame for them who don’t realize they live in the best country ever.
      xoxox to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Great to hear from you, Pepper. It’s been a ‘tough row to hoe’ for you, but of course you are still standing tall.
    I know the drudgery of cleaning out a pack-rat’s nest all too well.
    I echo GF’s sentiment of Ron, and though I never knew him, I can still admire him.
    Keep Strong and Keep God, my Friend.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Hi Terry,

      Thanks for coming by and reading my update. Yeah it’s been a tough row, but I’ve had plenty of them in my life and I’m a fighter. I keep trying to do the best to go on no matter what.

      Ah, so you’ve had the “lovely” experience of cleaning after a pack rat. Drudgery is a good description of it.

      LOL! Yeah, like I said Ron was an old, craggy mountain man as I told GF.

      I will keep strong and and I still pray for God to be with me and Jesus to walk beside me. Thanks.

      Like

  6. Bob Roller said:

    It sounds like you have been through the “flint mill” as an old saying goes.Replacing a fuel pump will not cure bad gas mileage unless it was the old style that fastens to the side of the engine and it may have been leaking as it worked.If the Jeep has a carburetor there is a possibility of a partly stuck choke.An unserviced or badly clogged air filter can do the same thing and both at the same time will really create a gas guzzling condition.
    I also had a tooth extracted but had no problems.
    Glad to see your posts again so keep them coming whenever possible.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Hi Bob,

      I knew you would come by to give me advice on the jeep. LOL! Yeah the old flint mill. I know that saying well.

      I don’t know where the fuel pump is located on the jeep, but my mechanic checked the carburetor also. I asked him to since others told me the problem could be that. He said it was OK. He replaced quite a few things on the jeep while he looked for my problem. Costly!

      I had another tooth extracted that caused me no problem whatsoever. I think this time it got really rough because the one he extracted had a root canal done on it and he had one heck of a time getting it out. I don’t really know, but I do know the dry socket started right away. I’m glad you’ve never had to experience that misery.

      Thank you about the postings. I’m going to try to keep them coming. I think I’m ready now. For awhile I couldn’t stand hearing the news, but I did. I also could not concentrate for so long I couldn’t write and did not go to blogs. I’m sure Ron’s death had a hand in that as so many emotions roll over ya all at once and it’s so overwhelming to deal with it all.

      i am glad you came back after I’ve been gone so long. You are a very loyal reader.

      Like

      • Bob Roller said:

        Pepper,
        Any time I can help you with the car or just a word of encouragement it will be my pleasure.
        I KNOW how much it hurts to lose a friend but not my spouse.We have been married for 45+ years and so far so good. Almost all my friends I grew up with are now dead. One friend had a heart attack last week but seems to be OK after a stint was put in.This past Monday another friend had a heart attack and is being buried today in TN.I do have two lovely ladies as friends and it is an open friendship with no stupid behavior involved. I view one as my sister and the other as my daughter.The “daughter” lost her Mother,Husband and Father in a short length of time and I taught her to shoot a pistol and then gave her the pistol.She is in NC now getting her beautiful daughter married off.
        Hang in there,time works wonders if you let it.

        Like

        • peppermintfarm said:

          Bob,

          That is so nice of you. And believe me I will ask you questions. Your silicone suggestion on my doors worked like a charm. All winter long after I had given it a treatment I had no trouble getting the doors open. So I’m really grateful to you.

          Congrats for your 45 yrs with your wife. That seems to becoming rare these days.

          I’m sorry about all of your losses. When all of your friends are mostly gone, it must be horrific. I’m glad you have 2 women friends. I have several male friends that are strictly platonic and I’m so grateful for that too.

          I think that’s so cool that you taught your “daughter” to shoot and got her a weapon. Now her losing all those close to her is horrendous. That seems way too much to handle in a very short time. You are so sweet to be there for her.

          Btw, Bob, the jeep is running so much better. I was gone most of the day yesterday and the jeep behaved itself quite good.

          Oh yeah, I’ll hang in there. What is the alternative? I’d rather be on the right side of the dirt. LOL!

          Like

          • Bob Roller said:

            Pepper,
            The main reasons I taught the “daughter”to shoot was that after her father passed away,she was living alone in a nice area.I asked her
            if she had ever fired a gun and she said “No,I think it’s scary”.I said.
            “No,what’s scary is waking up late at night and suddenly realizing you are NOT alone.” She then did a 180 and asked me how she could learn to shoot. I told her I have the gun,ammo,and a key to a rifle range.
            After she got off work at noon on Saturday I took her,my wife and “sister”to the range and it didn’t take long for the “daughter” catch on and she really enjoted her time. The “sister” has a concealed pistol license and a 9MM semi auto that she shot quite well as did my wife with her Smith&Wesson K22. I had my 1950 Target 44 Special that I bought new in 1960 and none of the ladies wanted anything to do with it. After we got thru burning powder I took us all to a nearby Cracker Barrel eatery for a good evening meal.

            Like

          • peppermintfarm said:

            Bob,

            You are a great guy doing so much to protect your “daughter” and supply her with the necessary tools and training to protect herself. You are and admirable man indeed.

            I’m glad you told her what is really scary and she changed her mind about handling a gun. If one gets used to handling them, it’s not so scary.

            And I had my night last night. Someone tried to break in here and I let Merlin out the door while I had my gun ready as we checked things out. Merlin was barking so loud and so fierce I think before I was able to grab my gun and get outside the person ran away. Whoever it was apparently didn’t know I had Merlin in here.

            That’s something else you may suggest to her to get a watch dog. It really helps out a great deal. Most criminals will run hearing a dog inside the house.

            Even my Corgi was a great watch dog and I know he ran off several peeping toms.

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  7. Good to see you out here. That picture of Ron (which I regret never having met him) is pretty much how I had him pictured in my mind. A good, decent man who is still missed. That Jeep Wagoneer. THERE is a classic, believe it or not. I’ve seen asking prices for derelicts starting at $2,000, up to fully restored in the low 5 figures. The right buyer would pay good money for it. Next time someone makes you an offer, the vehicle looks solid, and all there, tell them $ 7500, it is YOURS. Just a suggestion.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      clyde,

      Thank you. So you already pictured what Ron looked like! Now that is amazing. I always loved Ron’s comments and I miss them among other things of course.

      Wow! You’ve got to be kidding me. I didn’t know my jeep could be worth that much. Like I said I have had tons of people stop and ask me about it and tell me they would love to have it. I did start to get curious about what it’s worth having so many people ask me about it. But never did I think it could be worth $7500. OK, I love your suggestion and will tell people that I’ll sell it at $7500. Hell by the time I’m done I’ll have everything mechanically replaced at the rate I’m going with this thing.

      See I could have gotten snookered over the jeep so I’m very grateful you told me this.

      Like

  8. Glad to hear you are there. We only realize how short and valuable lives are when things change. Most of the time, we are not “ready”. Lots of holes in the world from people that were valuable who could not be relplaced. Makes it that much more troublesome to see people that intentionally go through life making things MORE difficult for others.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      drrik,

      Thank you. Well I’ve lost many people and some are expected and others are a shock. Like when my son died it was not expected and I went through an horrific time with that one.

      Now, with Ron, I had an inkling that something was very wrong, but all of his tests showed nothing until they did that CTA which lights up the whole body. It was not as shocking to me, but when he died in 2 weeks, that was shocking and not expected.

      I tell all my family and friends that I love them all the time. I don’t want to lose anyone or die myself without them knowing I love them so much.

      Yes, it is sad seeing people who do things to make life difficult or miserable intentionally and I don’t understand that. I guess they just don’t have any sense of what it’s like to lose someone they love if indeed they are even capable of it.

      Thanks so much for coming by drrik.

      Like

  9. Of course, I’m glad to see you back as well and sorry for all the difficulties you’ve had and continue to have.

    The blog’s a nice break for you and everyone’s glad to read your stuff.

    Now that you’ve had some time to reflect, perhaps you could come up with another mini-series?

    That would be welcome, I’m sure.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Paulie, thank you so much. I’m glad so many of you are coming back to read my blog. I guess it is a nice break to be blogging again.

      LOL! Why did I think you’d bring up that series thing again. Well if I can get my creative juices flowing once again, I know I’ll write one. It may take a bit of time though. It really is hard to be creative when I’m dealing with so much other crap that is going on. My mind just does not want to co-operate with me.

      Like

  10. Pepper and Poppyseed,
    Gordon was a “Golden Wolf”, a Chow/Shepherd mix. And for a time, he put up with me taking pictures inside. Then, he get his “Snarly Face”,,, Lips curled back, and then he’d turn away.

    I finally figured out it was the flash he hated, and the after-image,,, He didn’t mind outside, or in full, natural light,,,

    See what you can do outside, and if they’re still camera shy, then you gotta sneak around like they was Uni-corns,,, ,,, ,,,

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Grouchy,

      It’s interesting that there are others who have animals with the same reaction to cameras. I have taken many pictures of Merlin outside and it’s still hard to do. And yeah, I have to catch him unaware to get a good one. Now the one on the very top of the page was from inside and he was a bit more cooperative with me that time but I still can’t get a shot of how beautiful he really is. He’s a very sweet shepherd.

      That is so funny that Gordon started to get his snarly face on and lips bared back. That could be very scary I think.

      Oh, you would not believe how many times outside I try to sneak up on him to get a good shot. That one on the blog was one of the shots I got when he was coming back onto the porch after chasing Zima around the yard and he was shocked I got him that time. That’s why he has the look of great surprise on his face.

      Like

  11. You can never face, encounter, or experience any situation that can be so dark in which Christ cannot shine forth in. For HE IS our Bright and Morning Star, The King of Glory, The Alpha and The Omega, The First and The Last, The Beginning and The End, and HE IS the remedy, cure, and solution to anything that you’re facing.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Walt,

      Thanks for reminding me how much God works with us. I do know He is with me all the time and that has gotten me through some of the really tough times I’ve had.

      Like

  12. Pepp, I have been thinking and wondering about you. It has been a very long time, so very nice to see you back. I can see that you have been having some bad times and I am so sorry for that. But, we all need to remember that God is with us all the way. We have had some things happen here that has been heart-breaking, and I pray all the time. Take care and keep up posting. Hugs, Donna

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Hi Donna,

      I’ve been wondering about you too and what’s going on. Email me and let me know what’s up. Hugs, too, Pepp.

      Like

  13. bullright said:

    Great post Pep, That’s much the way I pictured Ron. The Jeep looks good. I be Merlin likes that anyway. You’ve been busy.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Thanks Bull and for coming by. That’s funny that several people pictured Ron like he was.
      Right I’ve been very busy. Almost too much at times.

      Like

  14. Great post Pepp and it’s so good to see you posting! Sorry I’m late in commenting, but I haven’t been in a good place as we’ve discussed. Kinda dread July 17th.

    We’ve discussed I think all this on the phone, so I’ll leave my comments between what we’ve shared.

    Thanks for putting up the pic of Ron. While it makes me sad; it’s good to see him at least in a pic.

    Wonderful and hilarious pic of Merlin! I’m LMAO. Definitely looks caught off guard and I just love how that one ear flops down. He sure is precious.

    I pray the Jeep goes “something broke free” for a good long time. I know it’s been a real money sucker at times.

    Praying for you, Merlin and even the Jeep. Anything that will take stress off you.

    Love ya’….

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Hi Dave,

      Thanks for coming by as I know you are in great pain right now.

      I’m glad you finally got to at least see what Ron looked like.

      Thanks for your prayers. And you take care.

      Like

  15. I’m so glad to see you coming back from your “sabbatical.” You left a hole in the ether that many of us missed, but one that we understood.

    Like the others, I’m sorry that I never got to know Ron except as Goshawk through our blogs, and I wish that (if you have one) you could post a picture of him before he was so ill – in happier times perhaps.

    Something you said in this post reminded me of something my mom said a few years before she died. She was about 95 at the time and said (in a very sorrowful voice) that all of her friends were gone and that she was the only one left. I’m beginning to experience what she felt. As we get older, we are more apt to attend more and more funerals – until at the final one, we’re the headliner.

    Like I’ve said before, I think that God is up in heaven with a Big Chief tablet making checkmarks whenever someone thinks good thoughts about us or we do good things for others.

    I suspect that Ron had pages of checkmarks and that God welcomed him to a magnificent farmhouse in heaven.

    Best wishes for your continuing adjustment to life without him.

    Like

    • peppermintfarm said:

      Thanks Garnet for your kind words. I will try to find a pic of Ron before he got so ill. He didn’t like his pic taken so I kind of caught him off guard with the one I got. I have a couple earlier ones when he first arrived here but they don’t show his face.

      Yes, it is sad that friends all go when you’ve outlived them by sheer age. I’m sorry you are starting to experience that. I guess I’m lucky I have friends of all ages, mostly younger than myself so I haven’t gotten to that stage yet. I also have older friends too but they are in good health yet you never know when you yourself will go.

      But for me the worst was losing my son as I’ve spoken about many times on my blog.

      I feel so bad for those folks in nursing homes who have no one to visit them. Their families don’t even come.

      Thanks for your best wishes for continuing my life as best I can. Like I said this is not the first time I’ve gone through a rough time and I am a fighter usually no matter what.

      Like

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