Now none of these are the usual, “I’ll diet, or exercise more” but resolutions of a completely different nature upon which my latest experiences taught me some valuable lessons. This so called recovery period from a loved one’s death has been interesting to say the least.
1. Don’t get yourself locked out of your house at 11PM during a gale storm. Yes, that’s exactly what I did on Saturday, Dec. 14th. I had just gone to bed when Merlin my adorable, loving, German Shepherd tapped me on the shoulder letting me know he had to go potty. I got up and when I opened the kitchen door to the mudroom, I discovered the back door to the porch was wide open. Thinking it was not locked it, I closed it.
Merlin went potty and I went to get into the house but it was locked. Thank God it was warm that night as I had only my pj’s on. It was inky black and I could barely see in front of my face. I searched each window to see if one of them was not locked down tight to no avail. So I ended up breaking into my own house, but not before I fell down in one of my flower beds. My hip, my thigh, and my forearm were hurt, but I gallantly got back up and decided to break into my own house. That will remain my secret for now.
Of course I had to take another shower as my back was covered with mud and leaves, including my hair. This whole thing was a hair brained idea anyway. If my brain had been firing on all pistons I would have checked the mudroom door before I closed it. Just left over vestiges of a chaotic life these past two months.
2. Don’t go starting up an old 1981 jeep on Christmas eve night at 10Pm. It was 11 degrees that night and since I was sick in bed the whole week prior to Christmas I didn’t start up or run the jeep that whole week. I decided I had better. Well, after 20 minutes I finally got that tank to idle without keeping my foot on the gas. I sat there awhile letting it run. I then tried to get out the doors and they were so iced up I couldn’t open them. I threw my whole body force against them with no luck.
I called my friend Cindy (and landlord) and she couldn’t stop laughing knowing about my break in of the house story. She told me she would send Bob, (her husband and my landlord) over to get me out. Instead, 3 of the farm hands showed up to rescue me. John, who likes to tease me mercilessly, got the door open without a problem. Then he went on to explain to Ms. Pat as they like to call me, how to use the handle of the door to get it open. It took everything I could do not to whack him over the head.
3. Don’t go out on the road unless you realize there is black ice and you can control a vehicle on ice. That was exactly what I did last Monday to go to the senior center to see some friends and eat a hot meal. As I turned out onto my road, the jeep suddenly was out of control fish tailing all over the place. My arms were going a mile a minute trying to keep the jeep straight. I finally got it down to another farmers’ place and pulled into his driveway not knowing what the heck was going on. I looked up the road and saw black ice all over it.
I was so relieved that none of the Amish were coming up the road in their buggies so I didn’t take them into eternity. Those buggies don’t stand a chance against a 2 ton tank. Just the thought of killing those magnificent horses made chills go down my spine. And of course I would hate to kill my friends on this road. Lesson learned. Check the damn road for bloody sake.
4. Do not put a sandwich in the microwave and walk away. As it turned out my microwave blew up in smoke. I immediately disconnected the plug and pulled the sandwich out while smoke came pouring out the door. Hey, I didn’t want that sandwich ruined. The microwave went out the door on Monday night to the trash heap. Lesson learned don’t ignore loud booms in the house.
5. Do not fool with a sneaky, wily mouse. I had a mouse in my spice cabinet which is weird since there is nothing to eat in there. Every fall we’d get them and Ron would bait them and catch about 4 of those field mice until they were gone.
No such luck for me. I baited those traps and just before falling asleep I’d hear a snap and was sure the mouse was caught. Not only did that mouse get some of the peanut butter, but there was no dead mouse. And he’d have the nerve to come back the next night and eat what he didn’t get while I had the trap reset.
One morning I found 2 mouse turds on my desk by the computer where there is absolutely nothing to eat. I don’t eat at my computer. Ah, I thought, Wily Willy is taunting me. And besides that Zima, the fearless mouse killer never got him. She was on the bed in my study. I asked Zima what the hell she was doing sleeping while that mouse was on my desk. The answer I got was a big yawn.
Since Zima started sleeping in the house now that it’s cold, Wily Willy has disappeared. I guess she got him after all. That cat never stops eating anyway. How could she pass up a tasty morsel like Wily Willy?
Lesson learned, let the cat get the doggone mice.
New Years Resolutions are boring since we all have the tendency to forget them on January 2nd. So don’t bother making any. You will just end up feeling like a failure if you indeed even think about them ever again that year.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!
MIRACLES DO HAPPEN! TRUST IN GOD FOR HE WILL TAKE OUT THE WICKED AND PERHAPS SOMETHING WILL GET RID OF OUR FECKLESS DICTATOR.
HEY I SURVIVED THE PAST 2 MONTHS UNDER ALL MY FOIBLES AND FUZZY BRAIN MATTER. ALMOST ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.