It has now been 6 weeks since Hawk died and since that time I’ve had many changes. I prayed for Jesus to be by my side each day to help guide me and help me as I pressed on with grief and stress on top of it.
I am l very busy with the aftermath of his death. I have still so much to take care of that it makes my head spin and problems I didn’t expect came up. My time is limited online these days so I still can’t get to all the blogs I would like to comment on. So my apologies to all of you who I regularly visited. I’m sure that will change once I am in a less busy and stressful place.
I received many, what I call miracles or guardian Angels sent to me with so many gifts of love and money.
Two days prior to Hawk’s death, my 18 yr old Honda just quit on me. This car never gave me a lick of problems all those years. It went to 3 mechanics before they diagnosed it as the motor was dead. That was too costly for me to have fixed.
The first mechanic, one we used since we came out here towed my car to the 2nd mechanic and did not charge me. He too knew the situation I was now in.
From there the farm hands here decided to help me get Hawk’s old 1981 Jeep going. It would not start so they told me to get a new battery. I got the battery and it ran for 2 short trips and then it too died on me. And I had never driven this tank before so I had to learn and practice with it. I am still practicing since it was gone for 3 weeks. That was a bit of stress I didn’t need either. I was used to a much smaller vehicle. This thing is huge, makes a lot of noise, and feels like I’m sitting on a buck board. But I was able to do it pretty quickly.
So the Jeep went to the mechanic and it took 3 weeks to get it fixed as the mechanic was so backed up with other cars. I finally got it back on Wednesday. The alternator was bad and during that short time burned up the battery I bought and also my money for the new one. My landlord is floating me a loan for the Jeep being fixed.
I received so much food, delivered by the Amish and a woman I never met or knew. For weeks I did not have to cook or buy groceries. The woman I never met brought me boxes of food.
Several weeks later my daughter in law and her husband came to visit and took me on a grocery shopping trip which they paid for and took me to dinner. And I got to see my grand children which uplifted me tremendously.
My brother and his wife came down to visit me and took me to a buffet lunch. This was also uplifting to see my family. They live in Cincinnati.
For 6 weeks I had no transportation and relied on my landlord and his wife who is a very good friend of mine that I met at my last job. We became very close and back then we even took a vacation together which was one of the best ever. My landlord Bob gave me free rent for November so I could handle the extra expenses that kept coming up.
The Saturday after Hawk died, DavetheRave came here and spent the weekend to help me handle funeral arrangements, take me to places I needed to get some necessary items like dog food for example. He was great company and comfort to me that first hard weekend. DavetheRave is a gem.
Willibeaux is another gem who constantly called me to check on me and how I was doing. He made calls for me to Veteran organizations to see if there were any benefits to help me defray the cost of Hawk’s cremation.
Both of them continue to help me and advise me on so many things. I can’t be more thankful for all they have done for me. Both of them continue to check on me and make sure I’m doing all right. Both of them certainly deserve their rewards in Heaven one day but not soon I hope. I don’t know what I would do without them.
As it turned out the funeral director needed an upfront amount applied to Hawk’s cremation which my brother paid for me. From there the funeral director is allowing me to make monthly payments. He told me to send him whatever I have. Another angel.
The Hawk’s 3 sisters also sent me money to pay on the cremation, but when they found out about my transportation problem, they told me to use the money on that instead.
I also received money from some here on WordPress who I won’t mention their names as I don’t think they really would want me to publicize it.
Many of my readers and friends here email to check up on me too.
So many angels I can’t even count them anymore. And my gratitude and thanks abounds for everything that they did for me.
I have met new friends. People at my church offered to come get me for services when I had no transportation. I love all the people at my church since they all have been so kind and warm to me. At church hugs are a big part of our congregation. It is so nice to receive all these hugs and love.
I made some changes on this blog because it is time for me to try to move on with my life. You may have noticed or not. They are fairly subtle. I can’t change the name of the blog, but it still fitting since we have so many hawks out here in the wilderness.
I pray every night from a book Willibeaux and his wife sent me when my son died. Once again these prayers help me and guide me in the aftermath of Hawk’s death.
I am now adjusting to living by myself again. I have settled into a new schedule for myself. I am up very early to feed Merlin and the cats, take Merlin to potty, and then I have my coffee to get started for the day. Having my pets for company and Merlin for both that and being protective of me it is a great help in my healing process.
I want to thank all of you who have helped me during these weeks of grief and anxiety. Your prayers, support and comfort, sharing, and all that you have done to be there for me. God bless you all.