Let’s all take a walk into an imaginary story about a circus run by a man named Bammy Scammy. His press agent is Blarney Carney. Bammy has many agents and advisers to get talent and acts for his circus.
All is ready and the circus begins. In one ring we have the flying trapeze act, in another ring we have the lion tamers. In a 3rd ring, there are beautiful women who ride big white horses bareback. There is a large tent with the tight rope walkers, and in another one there are elephants who the trainers led around showing the huge beasts off to the crowds.
Bammy Scammy is very proud of his circus because while one thing is happening in one tent there are others going on in other tents. Lots of stuff to keep the people busy and distracted. Not to mention all that popcorn and beer they were selling to the unwashed masses.
Then one day a disaster strikes. One of the women, Barbie Doll, riding a big white horse falls off and is trampled to death by the horse.
Another one strikes at the elephant tent. One of the trainers loses control of the elephant and it being so frightened knocks down the barriers in the tent and stomps down at least a dozen customers before the elephant was under control.
In the flying trapeze tent one of the guys flying through the air misses the other guy’s hand and he zooms down to his death while the remaining trapeze artist flies up to the roof of the tent and the whole tent falls down on at least 100 people who are all trying to get out.
In the lions tent, the trainers can’t hold their lions in command and the lions go on a rampage attacking the watchers. Three of the people are mauled to death. Others suffer limbs and arms being torn off their bodies.
A fire breaks out in the tight rope tent. The men on the tightrope fall to their deaths while people are so desperate to get out, they shove and stomp over others to exit the tent. Many people die in the fire. The tight rope workers are no longer identifiable as they are burnt beyond recognition.
The townspeople form a committee to investigate Bammy Scammy’s circus and how it is run and how things could go so bad that people were killed and injured. And they want their money back. For those who were killed or injured the people want them to be given restitution.
Blarney Carney tells the committee that he knew NOTHING about the disasters and no one running the circus had any idea that people were trampled to death, that a fire broke out, that the lions mauled people and certainly nothing about the elephant stomping, and a woman on horseback was killed. He assures the committee that no one in the King’s circus had any idea these things happened. And surely Bammy Scammy knew NOTHING.
The committee probes further, bringing in advisers, agents, people who saw the disasters before their own eyes.
The committee wants to know why the horse trampled Barbie Doll to death and left to die and no one came to her rescue when the horse trampled her. Why weren’t ambulances brought in? Why weren’t fire trucks called?
The townspeople shriek with outrage and the committee decides they had “better speed things up”.
More of Sammy Scammy’s advisers testify but they didn’t know any of this was happening in their circus and no one they knew was responsible. Some advisers told the committee they don’t know why no one did anything.
But, they could maybe come up with a name of someone who actually knew someone who had the facts, but oh, by the way, we don’t have names of anyone. We can’t recall who hired the acts. We don’t know anyone’s name and we most certainly have no idea who left Barbie Doll to be stomped to death by her horse. In fact they never heard of Barbie.
One attendee at the circus testifies that Barbie had no bridle or any way to hold onto the horse so she simply fell as the horse circled around the tent. And there was not the proper equipment to keep the lions in line.
Drugs Shulman and Cheats Miller, two of Sammy’s advisers testified they knew NOTHING at all and didn’t know why an ambulance was not called for Barbie in case she could be saved from her severe injuries. Bammy Scammy of course knew NOTHING about any of these disasters even though he was the one to run the circus. But, “he is outraged and will bring the people responsible to justice”
Certainly not one agent or adviser had any answers because they all knew NOTHING. The agents didn’t even know the names of the people who ran the acts. They were surely all very talented and would do nothing to hurt anyone, but everyone knew NOTHING.
The towns committee decides to bring in the chief investigator before the committee, Ferret Smolder, who testifies that as a law enforcement person, he has no knowledge, but he will get those people who did those very bad deeds. However, he knows NOTHING and he has no names of anyone.
He states that since he was merely a top cop, he couldn’t be expected to do anything about this. In fact according to him it was all the fault of the American people for going to the circus in the first place. He states, “if it weren’t for them nothing would ever have happened”.
But, Ferret Smolder would check out every person who attended the circus to see if they owned a gun. After all guns are dangerous and probably caused all this mess. And he was sure that a gun caused the fire when it was fired. Or perhaps according to Ferret Smolder, there was a loose maniac running around with an AK. Surely that would cause a terrible fire.
Funny thing though none of the attendees at the circus ever saw a gun fired anywhere and certainly not by anyone in the crowd. And they sure didn’t see any loose maniac running around inside those tents.
The committee asked, “why were there no firetrucks at the fire’? Ferret Smolder stated that there was a sequester on Bammy Scammy’s funding by “certain people with the wrong views” so there was no money to call in the fire department. Ask “those people” why there was no funding for safety at the circus. There were no ambulances either since Bammy’s funds were cut off.
Bammy Scammy would not come in to testify. After all he was the owner of the circus and how could he be expected to know anything about what was going on. He sent a message that he “was outraged” and he would make sure the proper people were held responsible “IF” it actually happened. And he knew NOTHING about what had happened. The message was written on the back of a Nevada hotel napkin.
The committee argued, raged, bloviated, pointed their fingers and accused the advisers and others agents who testified they would bring someone to justice for the carnage. Get us names, get us people who knew what happened they demanded in feigned outrage.
But, the people shouted angrily, exactly what are you going to do since you have no names, all the advisers and agents and Bammy Scammy know NOTHING?
Sine the committee lied to the people about getting to the “bottom” of this scandalous behavior, that night the committee met in a secret room with smoked filled air, some smoking cigars, cigarettes, snorting cocaine, and one member fondled his young aide under the table at which they sat while they argued among themselves. They all drank large amounts of alcohol to quell their nerves.
They broke out in a frenzy of exchanges asking one another, just what can we do? We know NOTHING. And just how do we find out why everyone knew NOTHING. How do we find out who started this Gawd awful circus?
The committee decided since they had no names and nobody knew anything just how could they bring anyone to justice or prosecution for negligence at the least.
They decided to put the committee on hold indefinitely because as far as they were concerned they could do NOTHING since everybody knew NOTHING.