Wicked Commentary

Most Embarrassing!

Since we have so much bad news on the political scene, I decided to change the subject, if only temporarily to a fun subject:   Our most embarrassing moments.  I will break the ice and tell one of my thousands of embarrassing moments so the rest of you will feel free to tell about yours. I figure that is only fair.

I have many embarrassing moments in my repetoire that it would be almost impossbile to tell unless I wrote a book about them and that might be an idea.  Hmm…………..

We were living here on the farm for about 1 year while I at least was doing just fine “not falling” down.  Here is a real picture of me stooping down with Ron’s  shepherds Foxy and Shadow, the attack dogs that nobody could ever come near, let alone touch. Hawk was in a state of shock since nobody could ever come near these two dogs without getting attacked so the Hawk calls me a witch. I told him before he arrived I was a Shaman so I don’t know why this surprised him. But I digress as usual.

Now, as you can see I am stooped down hugging Foxy and also I could easily get back up from this position with no trouble at all.  All I had to do is lift myself up and stand straight up again.

One year after being here I would be walking on the farm, suddenly have a shock go down my left leg and simply fall down.  Later, after all kinds of chiropractic assistance, our family doc sent me to a sawbones where I found out my left hip was worn out and hanging by a thread, all because I was a compulsive exerciser.  Another embarrassing but true thing about myself.  I could not sit still for more than a few minutes.  I would have been better off had I been a couch potato instead of always exercising. But I get ahead of the story.

One day I’m in the local pharmacy to pick up a prescription for my Coumadin.  Yeah, I had also found out I had a blood disorder, a tumor on my adrenal gland, a spot on my one lung,  a gall bladder full of stones, and a hip going out on me.  Reality sucks but life must go on. And one must keep a sense of humor through it all.  It’s either laugh or cry and when I do something so embarrassing I just laugh about it.  The Hawk thinks I’m half crazy, but then so do a lot of people I know.  Nothing new there!

I decided that while waiting for my meds to be filled I’d go wander to the other side of the pharmacy where there are all kinds of gifts, some local made, a lot from China, but all very pretty and nice things for gift ideas for “those who have everything” on your gift list, but you know the receiver most likely will throw the gift in the trash after you give it to them.

I was stooping down as in the picture above looking at some object on the bottom shelf when I suddenly lost all feeling in my left leg and simply fell over onto my back.  With no feeling in my left leg, I was having difficulty finding a way to get back up.  I needed help!!!!



I tried this look, simply looking pathetic, so someone, anyone would come to my aid.  No one came, most stepped over me.

Here is a simulation of me now lying on the floor as if I were a woman of the 17th century who had the vapors.  No one came, most stepped over me.

Or we could look at me in this way more artistically done by Toulouse Latrec.  No one came, most stepped over me.

Whatever way one looks at this it was highly embarrassing as I rolled around on the pharmacy floor trying to find some way to get myself up off the floor.  Other customers in the store  must have thought I was a mannequin as they stepped over me paying no attention to me whatsoever.

So now I don’t  have anybody even seeing me on the floor rolling around. What did these people think I was doing I wondered to myself!  Meanwhile I rolled to other displays trying to find one sturdy enough to pull myself up to a standing position.

I could find nothing.  Most displays were those typical things with articles hanging on them but on an easily knock over stand.

I decided to try a different approach to get myself noticed.

Of course this is not me, only a simulation of the tactic I tried next.  I laid on my back and smiled up at the people shopping in the pharmacy thinking surely someone would ask me what was I doing. I did have one women come by who stopped and asked “Oh dearie, are you all right?” as she quickly stepped over me and dashed back to the card section of the pharmacy before I could answer her.

As I laid there and through my rolling around on the floor, I thought to myself that things sure are different down here in Eastern KY and the people are certainly as friendly as they could get. In fact in most stores they don’t even watch what you’re buying and you can easily return any merchandise. Nobody asks any questions.  So I came to the conclusion that any adult could lie on the floor of a store, roll around all over and nobody would make anything of it as there must be people who do this all the time down here.

In Cincinnati I would have been arrested by the store police and taken in a the little white paddy truck up to the city’s insane asylum.  But, here, hell, I could just roll on the pharmacy floor all day long if I so desired.

Off to the Asylum, that is, anywhere else but eastern Kentucky!

My one thought after that was I sure was glad the Hawk was not with me. He may have left the store leaving me rolling around on the floor in such embarrassment over me once again.  Not really, he would have dragged me up by my hair if needed and then give me a lecture about how he can’t take me anywhere out in public anymore. I’ve had these lectures before about how embarrassing I am to be out in public with him. I think he just jests but he could be telling me the truth for all I know.  I just laugh and tell him he’ll just have to get used to it and that is that.  I usually embarrass him at least once when we’re out together.

Gee, I now realize why he goes to town by himself so much now. No more embarrassing moments of me pushing the grocery cart into a pile of boxes and knocking them down. No more me falling off the curb and into the street.  No more me stopping in traffic to jabber off the jaw to someone I know from the hospital where I’ve spent three quarters of my life since we moved down here. They all know me well at the hospital.  I must talk to those I see out in public.  After all everyone around here stops their cars to talk to a farm friend. What’s the difference I ask myself.

But the Hawk doesn’t understand this.  We here on the east side of the country do all kinds of stuff like this.  On the west coast where he hailed nobody did that unless they wanted to get themselves killed.  He even has trouble with people sitting on their front porches.  I was shocked, of course people sit on their front porches so they can gossip with all the neighbors as they walk down the streets.  I do it all the time here and try to start up convos with the Amish.

Anyway, I finally figured out a way to get up by myself. It was not a pretty sight. I had to lift myself off the floor by my right and left hand and right leg and then drag my left leg up to get it at least planted on the floor and hope I didn’t fall down again.  This maneuver might be called the splits.

Since there are no human pictures fit to display on the blog here how I looked getting up from the horrible situation I found myself in, this is the closest I could find in the animal kingdom.

Now, 2 years later I’ve had my hip replacement done and I can “walk”.  The only problem is I still can’t walk without falling down.  When my grand kids were here a few weeks ago,  their step father wanted to take a walk. I said “great, let’s all go for a walk”.  We got no further than on the path to Tobacco Road and I was down flat on my left side in a ditch. The Hawk thought Merlin had knocked me down and was just slightly peeved with me that I insisted on taking the dogs along on our little walk.  But Merlin didn’t knock me down, I just wasn’t watching where I was going and fell into that damn ditch in the mud and gravel.

I brushed myself off as if nothing had happened,  jutted my chin out and said, “Hi, ho, now let’s get on with that walk!”  Ron took both dogs and went back to the house most likely thinking “she’s going to embarrass me again, I just know it”!

Later, my dear step son in law not in law (is there such a thing?) Chris wanted to see how tobacco is hung in the barn.  I told him delightedly, sure I’ll show you, it’s a very dangerous job because the Mexican workers have to climb all the way to the top of the barn and it’s really high”.

I was explaining this all to him when “BOOM”  there I was fallen back down onto the floor of the barn, having tripped over the tongue of the wagon that attaches to the tractor.

I laid there stunned.  How could I have done this thing twice?  Chris helped me up with a blanched face while I delicately seated myself on the tobaccy wagon for a short rest and allowed myself to look like once again this fall didn’t hurt one bit. Just a little tumble that’s all.

My sweet little grand daughter, Anastasia, said to me, “Grandma, I fall down too, a lot.  I think you’re just tired.  I try to go to bed at night, go up the stairs and BOOM, I go rolling down the steps, all because I’m just so tired.”   Then she just shrugged her shoulders and gave me a big sweet smile like “there I got it all cooked up for you Grandma in case Grandpa gets mad you fell down again and you’ve got no excuse this time.”

After taking two very sore and hurtful falls that I pretended didn’t hurt one bit what could be better than the love of one’s grand daughter and her wisdom?

OK, now you all get to tell one of your embarrassing moments if you dare!!!



Comments on: "Most Embarrassing!" (78)

  1. Sorry, but I had to have a chuckle at your expense that was funny. Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Hopefully obummer will be GONE!!! this next year God we can only hope. Quit falling down I have so many embarrassing stories I would fill up your whole blog page


    • Hi Rat Rod,

      Welcome! Have not seen you here before but glad you came over. I’m glad you got a chuckle out of my story. It was meant to be a laugh at my expense. I don’t mine. If ya can’t laugh at yourself you’re in trouble.
      Thanks we’ll have a merry Christmas and New Year, probably by me falling down again not looking where I’m going.
      Hey, don’t worry about filling up the blog. Tell your story!


  2. Well, Pepp, old gal…Clumsy is as clumsy does…I was sitting down with my legs crossed…My foot fell asleep. I went to get up and fell instantly into a heap on the floor…WHO does that? It was just a sleepy foot! Sprained the hell out it and it turned black and blue to my knee…I was home alone and sat there crying for being so clumsy and it effing hurt! 🙂 I tried to drive myself to the Urgent care clinic and could not press the brakes…Oy. What a mess I was…and it’s three months later and I still hurt. it sucks getting older…really. Even if I am 18 til I die in my heart!


    • Nee,

      Thx for telling one of your embarrassing moments. LOL! I know you’re not that old and still look like you’re 18. Clumsiness seems to be running in a lot of families as you can see. Sorry for your sprained ankle though. That is murderous pain even if it is funny your foot fell asleep and you fell down. I can understand the crying. I did that when I broke my leg at home and could not get anyone on the phone to come get me. There was no way I could drive myself to the hospital. I’m glad you got to the hospital but that must have been one big PIA.


  3. Allow me to be the first! While I was married; me and my ex decided to rent a movie at Blockbuster and watch it. Enjoy some nice buttery popcorn and she had some ice tea an of course; I had big O’ glasses of Wild Turkey 101. I’ve loved that damn bird! After watching the movie, and about 10 glasses of bird in my belly, we decided to return the movie. She drove, obviously cause I couldn’t see past my nose, and I told her to just pull up in front of the store and I would take the movie in, but there wasn’t a snow balls chance in hell I’d ever make the walk in less than an hour; if she parked in the parking lot. So, she pulls up in front of the store, I get out and stumble my way along damn near knocking the front door off the hinges of Blockbuster’s cause I put my hand on it for balance and forget it is a very freely easy swing open door. BOOM! I’m now flat on my drunk ass face in a very busy Blockbuster. I staggered back up to my feet, stumbled up to the counter, put the movie on the counter and just left without saying a damn word. I made it through the exit door and made a “bee line stumble” straight to the car sitting right in front of the store. I opened the car door, literally feel into the front passenger seat and said, “Honey, that was a bitch of a trip!” I slowly raised my head up to hear her response and looking back at me was some Asian women scared to death; I’d gotten into the wrong car. I burped, told her pardom me, and realized my car was about ten feet further up to the right…


  4. I can relate on several levels pepper! I still can’t walk and chew gum at the same time, LOL.

    Here is mine….

    Lead up….
    My husband accidentally ran over our dog, Husky a big collie/shepherd mix. We rushed him to the vet. Nothing was broken but he was sore and the vet gave us some pills that would prevent him from getting pneumonia while laying around recovering.

    Main event…
    A few days after this we got home from town, the wind was howling and it was colder than a well diggers behind. I got out of the pickup and somehow managed to slam the door on the middle finger of my left hand. The door completely latched as if my finger wasn’t even there. My husband opened the door and sure enough the finger from the tip back to the first joint was flat and mangled. He loaded my back in the pickup and we went back to town to the doctor’s office. The doctor gave me a numbing injection under the fingernail, which he then removed, bandaged me up, wrote a prescription for some pain pills. We returned home and I went to the recliner. My husband brought me a pain pill and told me where he put the bottle in case I needed another before he returned from feeding cattle, etc. I slept until the school bus brought the kids home from school.

    and then the embarrassing part….
    It was time for another pill and my finger felt like it was about the size of a football. I went in search of the pain pills and spied a pill bottle on top of the fridge, so I got it and took another pill. When my husband returned and asked how I felt, I told him that I had to take another pill but it wasn’t working this time. He went to the kitchen and asked me if the bottle I left on the counter is the one I got the pill out of, I told him yes…..”No wonder it’s not helping, you took one of Huskey’s pills”, he said. For some time after this, some of our friends would bark at me and ask how my finger was….

    more to the story…..
    Flash forward to just a few years ago. My husband was out harvesting cotton and it was very late, after midnight. The dogs started barking and since we had been having a lot of varmints wandering to close to the house of late, I got out his pistol, a Colt 45 magnum revolver. Since the trigger was hard to pull I cocked it and laid it on the desk in front of me, and went on chatting with friends online and opining on a political website. Much later I decided I would just go on to bed and saw the pistol, still cocked laying on the desk. The dogs had not barked in a long time so I proceeded to put the hammer down and put it away…..my thumb slipped, I heard thunder inside my head and there was blood pouring from the middle finder of my left hand. Dizzily, I staggered to the sink and got a hand towel, wrapped my hand and passed out. That is how my husband found me. He roused me enough to get me to the bathroom, cleaned and bandaged me up and wanted to take me to the emergency room at the nearest hospital, 80 miles away. I refused and said I would go to our local clinic the next day. The doctor was amazed that I still had a finger and wanted me to go to a specialist to have it seen to. I refused and told him it would be fine. There was nothing to sew up, so he bandaged it and told me I would never be able to use it again. I heeled and other than a slight numbness have no signs that anything ever happened, not even a scar. I does warn me when a storm is coming though……I haven’t taken much harassing about this incident since we never told anyone other than our kids what had happened. The window where the bullet exited the house does have a scar in the frame and the window no longer can be raised……


    • OMG! FOH! What a myriad of funny tales you’ve got. It’s a wonder you’re alive.

      I smashed 3 fingers in my garage door one time trying to get to work. It was icy out and I couldn’t get the garage door up, so I tried lifting it up and got 3 of my fingers caught in one of the folds. I drove myself to the hospital, who just told me there was nothing they could do. They wrote me out pain meds. By the time I got out of the hospital the roads were so bad they had closed the one way back to my house. I spent the next hour in traffic trying to get back home with no pain meds. When I got back home I couldn’t get my car up the steep drive to my condo, had to leave it cockeyed on the street. I called a friend who came over, bot the car up to the garage and went for my pain meds. By that time, I was screaming in pain. I called my boss, told him I’d be late for work and he told me, “gee haven’t you had enough for one day?” Thankfully I stayed home.

      You really cracked me up with your stories. It sound so much like mine. Can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. LOL!


  5. privbullright said:

    Pepp, I loved that picture on the bottom. I suppose an hour shopping and getting through the checkout line only to find I forgot my money is pretty embarassing. But ranking up there was slipping while getting off the throne(toilet). I pulled a mucscle in my arm and told a few people what I did. They probably wondered why I didn’t make something up or keep it to myself? There is that wisdom about most accidents happening at home.


    • PBR,

      Hilarious, falling off the throne. I would guess you are not the only one who has fallen off the throne. That has been another one of my tricks too. Of course, until now, I had not told anyone about that one. LOL! Too funny. Yes, most accidents do happen at home.


    • privbullright said:

      So maybe not the only one, but the only one dumb enough to admit it.(Embarrassing) I’m thinking we need a regulation, and consumer watchdog csar, to keep slippery rugs away from the can.


      • PBR,

        LOL! I imagine there soon will be a czar to make sure we don’ t use too much toilet paper. One square per poop. The only thing is that job would be so horribly stinky I wonder that anyone would take it on. Now really, who can we think of who would actually apply for that one? Think!


  6. I must be weird,since I don’t seem to recall very many embarassing moments,so I’ll share this one: I had been on the road for about 9 weeks,and came in one night about 8PM. My wife had gone back to school for her OT degree. Well,I walked in,tossed my clothes down to the laundry room,brought my paperwork in the study,where she was nose-deep into a textbook with a classmate,who often would come study with my wife since she said this was the only place that was quiet enough for her to get anything done. I leaned down,kissed the wife,and asked what she and her friend were studying. Without missing a beat,nor either of them looking up at me,they said in unison,PENISES. They saw the look on my face,turning red as a beet,and they were laughing so hard tears were running down their cheeks.


    • Clyde,

      OMG! That is so funny. The two women were hilarious not missing a beat about your nakedness. How embarrassing that must have been for you. LOL! You’re cracking me up.


      • NO,NO,NO. I wasn’t naked,I had tossed my dirty laundry I’d brought out of the truck. THEY were studying anatomy. NOT MINE,however. I knew her classmate was there,I’d NEVER would have thought to walk in naked on BOTH of them. Wife,maybe. Hope that clears things up. THIS is turning into an embarrassing moment!! bwhahahahahahahaha


  7. Mrs. Pepper’awk! My favorite occurred several years ago when I was in Korea. A buddy of mine (NIck from Hamilton OH) from days at Ellsworth AFB showed up one day. He was discharged in 1953 but reenlisted as a staff sar’hint. We quickly renewed our friendship. On our base only NCOs and Officers could drink hard liquor.

    On the day I received the telegram telling me I was a father of a baby girl (Deborah Lynn Simpson). Nick decided to help me celebrate with cigars and the hard stuff,

    He shows up with a bottle and cigars. We decided to play cribbage, drink and smoke cigars. As the evening wore on and booze was taking effect we both started cheating each other. Nick could hold his better than me.

    When I woke up the next morning, my tent mates told me I had passed out cold and had to put me in my bunk.

    What a hangover! Thank God the North Koreans didn’t decide to renew the hostilities.

    HooRah! 😉

    I responded to you know who. Check your e-mail.


  8. Susie Owens said:

    Well Pat

    I am sorry that people are so blind that they didn’t help you. Somethong like that never happened to me.


    • Susie,

      Thx for your sympathy, but actually I thought it was rather hilarious that a grown woman is rolling on the floor in the pharmacy and nobody took notice like it was something they saw everyday. Maybe they do for all I know. The people down here are so friendly and helpful I can’t imagine why nobody helped me. I guess they just thought I was having fun or something. No idea really.


      • Riiiiiiight. Susie may not have a fall quite like yours, but we know about an adventure she once had that involved a bed post——nuff said.
        And of course you were present for my most embarrassing moment. You do remember. The shower and and oderless poop?


        • Lucie,

          How could I ever forget the shower and odorless poop? LOL! It still leaves a brand in my brand.
          Susie might not recall that one night because her fear has it blocked, the roadblock for terrorists. LMAO!

          OMG, and that bed post! That was a scream.


          • Indeed. At least now we know what bed posts can be used for! Who’d a thunk? I heard that they are still looking for that terrorist with the terrorist phone, Nevada plates, a Maine cripple parking card and the overseas drivers license! That was an adventure to end all adventures.


  9. Pepp,

    I am still most anxiously awaiting for ‘awk to join us and share! Where he be?


  10. @ Pepp,

    Where the hell is Nox? I can guarantee he could tell a doosy!


  11. Well.. I’ve had few moments myself. I’m a retired Electrical Contractor and had some experiences while on the job. Just doing stupid things that I should have known better or paid closer attention to what I was doing.

    One of the jobs I took on was a ‘fire job.’ That means a building had caught fire and had to be rewired. So my crew and I go into this burned out factory and began puling to old wire out of the conduits and replacing it with new.

    It’s a dirty job. This was in Arizona and about 115 deg. we were all sweating like mad and were covered in black ash. The sweat running down made us all look like Zebra’s. Anyway, I had to tell you all of that so that you could understand what I’m about to say.

    We were having a hard time with the wire because the heat from the fire melted a lot of the insulation to the conduit. Most of the wire broke free when pulled hard.

    Well, it was about quitting time and I was up on 20 foot ladder pulling wire from the overhead conduit. I got a hold of one set of wires that just refused to move no matter how hard I pulled. When working overhead like that you have to grab onto the steel conduit with one hand (for safety) and pull with the other. Well this wire just would not budge and I wanted to get out of there. So I really forgot I was high in the air, let go of the pipe and pulled with both hands.

    The wire broke loose and the big KLien’s ( big pliers)I was using to pull the wire came back and hit me in the forehead hard enough to gash the forehead and knocked me off the ladder. I was just getting up off of the concrete floor when one of the guy’s came walking by, saw me covered win blood and said. “What the hell happened to you boss?” I just said, “don’t ask.”


  12. Love your story, Pepper! But sorry you fall so often!

    My funny story is one that Ray likes to tell on me. We were grocery shopping at a store that also sells clothes and other items. We were finished shopping and on the way to check out, I “had” to go past the clothing department. When I was finished looking, I grabbed my cart and hurried to the check out lane. I looked up and Ray was laughing so hard and I kept asking what was so funny. He could not talk because he was laughing so hard.

    As I started to put our food items on the check out lane, I realized I grabbed the wrong cart – the one I grabbed was full of ladies purses!!! A clerk was getting ready to put the purses out when I mistakenly grabbed her cart. The checkout girl was laughing so hard.

    Needless to say, I was quite embarrassed. Later I wondered what people thought when they saw me pushing a cart full of purses to the checkout. Probably, “what a whacko”!!


    • Donna,

      That’s great! And did you pull one over on your hubby; so, where do you have all those purses stored in your house??? LOL


    • Donna,

      Hilarious. A cart full of purses. I wonder what Ray thought.
      I often grab the wrong cart in stores. That’s another one of my traits. I’ve had women come running me down in aisles after me yelling what the hell are ya doing with my basket? Then I have to root through all the aisles trying to find my own basket. Geez, what a mess.


  13. Pepp and fellow readers,

    Funny stuff y’all have written.

    I scratched my head a while thinking about some dumb stuff that has happened to me. None come to mind at the moment that is newsworthy. I tend to look at life in a humorous fashion. I might get back on this if one comes to mind.

    I will tell you a story of a friend of mine. Remember the TV series “Tool Time”? Well, my friend Tom is a spitting image of Tim Allen inclusive of all the dumb stuff. Tom is the type that could break a hammer. You know the type.

    Anyway, Tom has a ranch nearby complete with herd of 200 cattle that I enjoy working from horseback from time to time and I help him with round-ups and vaccinations.

    Fascinated with westerns, cowboys, horses, and such Tom asked me to teach him how to throw a rope. I did. We practiced standing on the ground roping a 55-gallon barrel. After a while, Tom got the hang of it. I mentioned to him that it is easier when mounted but I knew better than try to get him on a horse since Tom is prone to calamity, even on a good day.

    This is where the story gets interesting…

    We missed an ornery steer calf for the round up. He was about 400 pounds and a sneaky critter to boot. We tried several times to get him corralled and each time he got away. We finally gave up on him since he was so belligerent. We worked all the cattle in the chutes. Periodically we saw the little bastard peeking at us from the treeline.

    After a while, we forgot about him. Later after we finished up a few of us kicked back and were enjoying a cold beer after a hard day’s work when all of a sudden we witness Tom, in the back of a pick-up truck being driven by his teenage son hauling freight across a pasture, swinging my rope in hot pursuit of said “ornery steer”.

    My first thought was “oh shit”… call the rescue squad.

    To our amazement, Tom actually roped the steer from the speeding pick-up but he neglected to tie-off the end. Ever determined, he held on. We witnessed him flying out the truck holding onto the rope. He landed belly down and went grass surfing with the steer running for dear life.

    We all yelled, “let go”, “let go”, but to his credit he held on. The steer and Tom covered about 300 yards through 2-foot tall grass. It was the damndest thing I’ve ever seen. Tom finally let go when the steer crossed the gravel road.

    We collected him, amazingly still in tact, but with brush burns on his face and arms and his shirt in ribbons. Thus ended Tom’s calf roping career.

    None of us could stop laughing.

    As I write this, I’m still laughing.

    PS. Tom’s wife made me promise never to teach him anymore cowboy stuff ever again.


    • Nox,

      Oh shit,,,LMAOOOO!!! That is way to f*cking hiliarious!! My son just asked me if I was having a good time………..LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


      • Daveroo,

        Need your son ask? You have a great time every time you’re on here. LOL! I’m glad you are provided with such a good place to go. Lil pat on the back to me for that one. In all humility of course.


        • Youins’s busted me Pepp!!! I surely do have a wonderful time on your blog with such intelligent, witty and nice folk’s like you and your commentators! I always look forward to an email you’ve put up a new post; you know how to pick em’ girl!


    • willibeaux said:

      Nox! One quick question. Is Tom a badd @zz Jarhead like you? Great story. Thanks!

      HooRah! 🙂


      • Nah, he was in the Army.


      • Willibeaux,

        I know no “jarhead” would ever pull a stunt like that one HN told. My bro is a Marine and he does nothing without thinking it through for days on end, then takes every precaution. Of course it helps that he is OCD, obsessive-compulsive about his movements. LOL!


    • Hardnox,

      OMG! That story is just hilarious. I couldn’t stop laughing over it. Poor Tom, what a putz!
      He sure had some spirit though I must say.


      • Pepp,

        Tom has grit though! I’ll give him that. I’ve known him for over 20 years and it amazes me that he is still alive. I could write a book about him.


        • Hardnox,

          Maybe you should write a book about Tom. It sounds like it could be a best seller if all the stories are as funny as the one you related. LOL!


          • Pepp,
            It would be. Here’s a preview:

            1) While he was with the Army in Germany he hit another tank with his. He bent both cannons.

            2) He sawed down a tree on his farm and dropped it on a 3 phase powerline cutting off power to most of the county.

            3) While bringing hay to his cattle with his tractor, holding the bale on the front loader a bit high, a bull head-butted the bale thus flipping the tractor over with Tom still on it.

            4) While fixing the roof of his 1841 house he fell through lodging his legs through the bedroom ceiling below.

            5) While baling hay his baler caught fire. He didn’t notice it for a some time since he was jamming with some tunes in his new AC cab tractor. It spit out sparks and almost burned his whole hayfield. The fire jumped the road and burned his neighbor’s wheat field. Fortunately the neighbor had just harvested the wheat the day before. Tom did lose his new $20K baler but managed to save his new JD tractor.

            There’s more…

            You are correct, I could write a book. Like I said, it’s amazing that he’s still alive.


          • Hardnox,

            You’ve got me laughing myself sick. It is truly amazing this guy Tom is still alive.


  14. Nox! Dem dere Army ground pounders is all heart ain’t dat right ‘awk?

    HooRah! 😉


    • Willibeaux,

      I’m sure the Army grunts are all heart, but don’t get a Marine started on them. My brother used to tell me that when he and his buddies got sent in to “pave the way” for the army, as the Marines are the “killing machine” they would tell the army guys, “now go ahead and clean up what we did”. LOL! There is great rivalry between those 2 forces.

      My bro sure has some stories about Nam if you can get him to talk about it.


    • Willibeaux,

      Hawk wouldn’t know. He was Air Force. LOL! Worse than being a grunt Army. But the Hawk was special forces so he was on the ground. But, like Navy Seals never seen. LOL!


  15. Gray Ghost said:

    At my age (60), I have decided that “embarrassing” moments are a normal part of life. Most of mine (and Mrs. Gray Ghost’s) have to deal with our “senior” moments. Those moments when we forget something so simple that our actions are truly laughable (i.e., waking up and looking at each other and saying, “What is your name again?” And we have been married to each other since 1972.).

    It is how we deal with those senior moments which defines who we are. And the way I tend to deal with these senior moments is to forget them.


    • Ghost;

      LOL! That was some great satire you just displayed! You last sentence has me rolling!


    • privbullright said:

      Gray Ghost, very good, . …”forget them”. LOL. Now I know, the bruises must be to help one remember. Someone always asks ‘what is a senior moment?’ The next time I slip or fall in front of people I’m going to say “It’s okay, I’m a professional.”


    • Gray Ghost,

      LOL! Senior moments! It’s good that these senior moments give you the pleasure of being able to forget what you’ve forgotten.


  16. privbullright said:

    Pepp, I hope your bruises have healed. Jogging my memory, I remember years ago when my wife and I were looking at a house. The realtor took us to the attic and there was a ladder to an open hatch up to a flat roof in the center. (a widows watch) So I went to climb up to stick my head up to have a look. I came down and my wife asked what it looked like. I said there is a view. I hurried downstairs to have another look. I didn’t realize till we got back in the car and left that she seemed fascinated with that hatch. “What was up there “ she wanted to know, “what did you see”. I said ‘it was mostly just a white blur’. She said “what do you mean?” I then told her that apparently the woman was sunbathing up there for privacy. She said “oh….I just wondered why you turned around to come down.” We talked about the possibilities all the way home.


    • PBR,

      The night I fell twice when the kids were here, before going to bed as I was undressing to get into my pjs Ron said “wth” is that? Here the whole left cheek of my butt had a bruise covering it. I bruise badly because of the Coumadin. All I have to do is bump into something, just a table corner, and a huge bruise sets in turning all kinds of colors. I also had the skin off of my left knee which we treated and bandaged. I tend to fall taking the brunt of the fall on my left arm. That was the 3rd fall like that. I also fell down in our bedroom one night as I tripped over the dust ruffle of the bed. That was bad since there is such little space between the bed and a dresser. I hit everything as I went down. Dakota was lying next to the bed in his usual spot and he took off like a bat out of hell when I went down. I’m glad Dakota got out of the way or I may have hurt him. LOL! I have bruises all over me from the Coumadin so it’s difficult to say whether I’m any better.

      I decided that when I have a ‘senior” moment I call it a “liberal” moment since they are so stupid. It couldn’t possibly be me, but me being invaded by a liberal demon.


    • PBR,

      That’s pretty wild about that woman sunbathing upstairs in that house. That would even have embarrassed me. Good thing you warned your wife.


  17. privbullright said:

    Pepp, duh,I forgot the coumadin. That’ll leave a mark. Dakota must be curious about humans’ mishaps?


    • PBR,

      Yeah, the Coumadin leaves all these colorful marks all over one’s body. I hardly have to do anything to have a huge bruise show up. Most of the time I don’t know how I got them. Sometimes Merlin will be so excited he jumps up on me and leaves bruises all over my arms but I don’t even feel it. Just the mere touch of Merlin’s paws leaves bruises on me. I have very colorful arms and legs.


  18. privbullright said:

    I have a large supply in the embarrassment well, but it’s frankly too embarrassing. Besides, government cohorts spend lots of money seeking such info. I’d much rather they dig for it. 🙂


    • PBR,

      As long as you’ve done nothing illegal for your embarrassing moments the gov’t can’t do a thing to you. I expect a swat team to show up here almost any night with the things I write. If you don’t see me here any longer, just be advised I’m either at Gitmo or a FEMA camp. Not supposed to tell anyone after the fact. LOL! Call the ACLU if I’m missing. The Hawk will be dead as he shoots his way outta of this, but I suspect the swat team will have tied me up by then and taken me away.


      • privbullright said:

        Well, depends what you call illegal. These days truth-telling could be considered illegal. Or, as you say, at least cause for locking you up. Not long ago they were stopping cars to see if they might be carrying contraband into the area. You know, dangerous things like a piece of firewood from an unknown or unverified source, or gasp,carrying it more than 50 miles. And the cover up lies for such offenses can demand penalties too. If you have to check the statutes, chances are you are violating them.


  19. Re: Pepps Embarrassing Moment.I’m finding all of this out for the first time, right along with you.

    It’s true I wasn’t with Pepp on her trip to the pharmacy. I knew pepp was having a lot of difficulty with her hip and could see she was a bit weak and unstable when walking or standing. I told her that I would drive here to the pharmacy because I was very worried about her ( I watch over her…well, like a HawK.) But she insisted that she was OK and wouldn’t be gone long.

    She was gone longer than I thought she should have been for that short trip. And when she got home I asked her if everything went alright. She said..”I had a little problem in the store. I kneeled down to look at something and couldn’t get back up, but a women stopped by and helped me up.” And ‘that’ was all she told me.

    And no, she doesn’t embarrass me me at all. But I do have to remind her to watch where she’s stepping, as she has a tendency to walk into things. 🙂


    • Well now my dear Hawk.
      Of course I told you everything that happened but you don’t remember. I think you had a senior moment. LOL!

      I have a hard time following your instructions. You tell me to watch where I’m going but I have to keep an eye on the horizon for animals and workers so it’s difficult to do both plus keep an eye on Merlin so he doesn’t’ eat something he shouldn’t. I manage all 3 things only falling down a couple of times. Hee hee.


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